Having cancer at a young age (or I suppose any age)... makes you have to come to terms with your own mortality (not a typical developmental task for anyone under 80 or so). This is a very difficult thing to do, especially when there are so many things left to see and explore! For me, the benefit of this, is that I no longer constantly worry about the 'little' things. I've been able to leave a lot behind me (not all of course!)...particularly the complications of starting a new job. I no longer punish myself for not knowing all the answers...and just accept the fact that I'm new...and I'm not supposed to know all the answers....(duh...it took cancer to teach me this?) So...I suppose I'm trying to say is that even though coming to terms with your mortality is a terribly difficult task to accomplish....it can be a rewarding one...as you learn what is really important to you (friends and family) and you learn what to leave behind (unwarrented stress!) I think that this is one of the little secrets behind the hidden bond between cancer survivors.
So....again...this wasn't meant to be a depressing post...(these thoughts have been with me all along...but I couldn't write about them during chemo). Rather, my purpose in writing this goes back to my original post...saying that all of you will know many people with cancer throughout your lives....therefore, you can understand some of the internal struggles they are going through, as well as the importance of being extra supportive around 'scan days'.
On a brighter note.... I tend to buy myself presents when I accomplish big tasks (or for my birthday). So I went shopping the other day and purchased some snowshoes!!! I figured they would be a great way to ease back into shape (though all the snow is melting right now!!) Here they are... aren't they beautiful?!
I'm still waiting for a response from the bar about my party. I requested March 1st...so I'll let you know when I hear back if that is the official date!
Peace and Love to you!
3 comments:
YAY!!!!!!!!! xxxxxooooooo
my portfolio is due on 1/22...march 1st sounds like a great time for a Partay!
kelly, this is so exciting!!!! i am so happy for you and will hold the image of you whole and healthy with all those cancer cells having headed for the hills. i know what you mean about the scans and having to think about both possibilities. but i am confident that your young, strong body was no match for those silly cells that had no idea what they were in for. you are impressive. unfortunately, i can't do anything about the disgusting banana sludge they make you drink for the CT. i will tell you that at UNC they put the nasty stuff into ginger ale, and it's not nearly as bad. not thick and not banana flavored. request it! zpora
YOU MADE IT! Kelly, I am so impressed and proud of you for taking on and conquering chemo. Despite your ups and downs through this experience, you always managed to maintain a healthy attitude...a task very few can do. Congratulations and cheers to a healthy and happy new year! p.s. those snow shoes are sexy.
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