2007: Year in Review

I recently received a forwarded email in which you were supposed to answer many personal questions, then pass it on to your friends (these emails are used to get to know your friends better). The questions were all about how you spent the year 2007. Unfortunatley, most of my answers would have been rather redundant. However, I've decided to share the first question with you...as it has been on my mind for the past couple of days....So here ya go....

1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Visited the Carribean in February! (St Croix!)...

And worked while I was there...

Visited San Francisco...and got offered the job of my dreams (or so I thought!) as a pediatric oncology nurse at one of the nation's top hospitals.... (and tried out for the Giants!)

Experienced the cherry blossoms in DC...

Became re-acquainted with many old friends...

Celebrated the end of nursing school with a camping trip to Assateague Island on the Maryland coast...

Graduated!!!! and became a true RN!..

Walked in the Relay for Life....as a survivor....(9 days after my surgery!)...

Received a crash course in the true meaning of love, generosity, and gratitude...

And....Kicked cancer's arse!

PARTY TIME!

I have a date for my Good Riddance party/Fundraiser for CAncer Support Services at FAHC! It will be MARCH 1ST from 5-8 at NECTAR'S in Burlington. ( http://www.liveatnectars.com/)
I will start planning next week when I have some days off of work...but I'm open for any ideas!

ALL are welcome....spread the word!

Oh...and here's a link for you to study up on what you'll be supporting!
http://www.cpspvt.org/

Happy Friday Everyone!

The worst part about having cancer.....

...is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am hopeful that one day an 'ache' will just be an 'ache' again, and not some sure sign (in my head) that the cancer is back and/or spreading. This makes scan days (CT scans in my case) anxiety-ridden horrible days. I don't have my follow-up scan until February...so I have some time to just enjoy myself. However, I am already anxious for that day. One picture (after a TERRIBLE cocktail)...can tell my future. It will hopefully buy me time until my next scan. The thing about working on an oncology floor, is that I see the patients who are back....meaning the cancer had returned and typically has spread (metastisized). This confirms that it happens, and therefore, I'm not invinsible.

Having cancer at a young age (or I suppose any age)... makes you have to come to terms with your own mortality (not a typical developmental task for anyone under 80 or so). This is a very difficult thing to do, especially when there are so many things left to see and explore! For me, the benefit of this, is that I no longer constantly worry about the 'little' things. I've been able to leave a lot behind me (not all of course!)...particularly the complications of starting a new job. I no longer punish myself for not knowing all the answers...and just accept the fact that I'm new...and I'm not supposed to know all the answers....(duh...it took cancer to teach me this?) So...I suppose I'm trying to say is that even though coming to terms with your mortality is a terribly difficult task to accomplish....it can be a rewarding one...as you learn what is really important to you (friends and family) and you learn what to leave behind (unwarrented stress!) I think that this is one of the little secrets behind the hidden bond between cancer survivors.

So....again...this wasn't meant to be a depressing post...(these thoughts have been with me all along...but I couldn't write about them during chemo). Rather, my purpose in writing this goes back to my original post...saying that all of you will know many people with cancer throughout your lives....therefore, you can understand some of the internal struggles they are going through, as well as the importance of being extra supportive around 'scan days'.

On a brighter note.... I tend to buy myself presents when I accomplish big tasks (or for my birthday). So I went shopping the other day and purchased some snowshoes!!! I figured they would be a great way to ease back into shape (though all the snow is melting right now!!) Here they are... aren't they beautiful?!

I'm still waiting for a response from the bar about my party. I requested March 1st...so I'll let you know when I hear back if that is the official date!

Peace and Love to you!

Happy 2008!

Happy New Year!!! Yahoo!!!
As you may have read yesterday....I received the best New Year's news. I'm done with treatments!!! Yesterday, I went into the clinic as usual, and when talking to my PA, let her know that my neuropathies had been constant since the last treatment. (meaning, I really haven't been able to feel the bottom of my feet, and frequently my fingertips are on pins and needles). Because of this we had agreed on a dose reduction of my chemo drugs of about 20%. She said she would run it by the doc to see what he had to say. When I got back to my chair, the doc came and questioned me about these neuropathies. He then gave me three options 1. full dose next week (which wasn't an option for me, as I wanted to be done in 2007!) 2. dose reduction 3. skip final treatment. I was very excited about this third option, however apprehensive. I was definitely not prepared to be done, rather I wanted to finish what I started. So I chose dose reduction. The doc said okay, then looked at my labs. My platelets were much lower than they had been (76...usually hover around 100) and my hgb was 9 (aka...anemic!). He said with my counts this low, he would opt for skipping the last treatment. He said if I had it, he would have to dose reduce by about 50% (which was enough reduction that it wouldn't really be helpful), and it would be likely that I would have to get a blood or platelet transfusion next week. I was still uneasy about quitting (cause I felt like I was 'quitting')...but he reassured me by saying that I've already received more chemo than most people in the same condition, as I had received 11 full treatments. He said that most people don't make it to 12 and that more often than not, people receive dose reductions along the way. He also made the point that I don't want these neuropathies to be permanent, and by giving more chemo, it would only increase this chance. So...the decision was made....and I was done.
I cried when my port was being de-accessed, as I was so happy that I wouldn't ever have to use it again (comes out Jan 24!), I cried saying goodbye to everyone, I also cried through breakfast with my mom, as I was able to just sit there and really enjoy the song playing on the radio. Not only that...I now have all this free time in the next week, where I won't be in bed, but rather enjoying myself and getting healthy again! So...here are some celebratory pictures!

I had lunch with some friends yesterday....

I was able to go to a New Years Party! Here's my friend Julie who has been such a support in the past months!

I got to enjoy some ugly holiday sweaters...you choose the best (or worst)

But...when it came down to it....I'm old and busted....this is how I rang in the new year...asleep!

However, I started the New Year off with a long walk around the resevoir...as I'm determined to be healthy, get back in shape, and enjoy myself!

So, again, Happy 2008....I hope the year brings you HEALTH and HAPPINESS!!!

ps...don't stop reading....as I'll have more to post during my 'recovery' period, including at date for my Good Riddance Par-tay!