ThanksGiving

My family has a tradition that each Thanksgiving before we eat, we go around the table to say what we are thankful for. Usually my brothers and I have a smartass comment to lighten the mood. Today, however, I'm not sure that I will be able to do that...not because I'm not thankful, rather the opposite. When I think about how thankful I am, it is an automatic tearjerker...and I don't want to cry at the thanksgiving table!

So, here's a small list of what I am giving thanks for this year:

*My family~of course. When I was diagnosed, I thought that I could do this by myself...I was still debating moving across the country. How wrong I was! There's no way I could make it through this without their support and them literally taking care of me and waiting on me hand and foot. I have dinner waiting for me after 12 hour shifts of work...(which is probably the only reason that I eat at those times, because I'm so tired!) and I haven't really looked at my bills, as they stress me out so much, my dad is taking care of them for the time being....need I say more! They're the best!

*My original doctor who took me seriously, fit my appointment into a tight schedule (I was moving), and comforted me by using humor and kindness when I was diagnosed,

*My friends who showed up at my door 5 minutes after I told them the news. They swept me away and helped me to plan my next few days. (I was due to move the next day and was sitting in an empty apartment)

*My friends who gathered the next day to bring me to my CT scan, help finish cleaning my apartment, and moved the rest of my stuff into their houses until we had a better plan, and then brought me to the airport so I could be home with my family.

*My friends who let my mom and I stay in their apartment while going to many doctors appointments at Hopkins, and who were most hospitable!

*The insurance coordinator at JHU who worked with me for months, and was my go-to girl when I couldn't get an appointment or had any sort of questions...she always figured it out for me..with a positive attitude...an was a huge support when I coulnd't think!

*All of my visitors after my surgery at Hopkins. I think there were about 30 of you who made my stay almost fun (with the help of the PCA!) I met a ton of great people at school and through working at Hopkins, and am just so grateful! (ps...I missed the ball on the thank you cards to all of you...I started, then realized too many addresses were changing at the time!...but please know that I THANK YOU).

*My old apartment manager, who gave us a deal on renting apartments for my family and me following surgery, and during my recovery period.

*My friends at home, who immediately took me back in and helped to ease the transition back home. I am grateful for all of the weekly dinners over the summer and for all of the wonderful and understanding listening ears you've provided.

*Ok...I haven't been using names..but this is my one exception. My friend Deanna, who has been right by my side through this all. She and her husband started off by selling bracelets as a fundraiser for me, and she's been incredibly supportive ever since. She is always checking in and accompanying me on small adventures. She is very intuitive to know when enough is enough for me...and makes it okay. She's just great!

*My job...when I moved home and needed insurance...I thought...'who would hire me?'...so I applied on an oncology floor, as I figured they would be the most likely to understand... and I was right! My preceptors are fabulous, and are constantly checking in with me to see how I'm doing. My managers are the same. They have made it so I only schedule myself for 2 weeks at a time, as my chemo schedule sometimes changes, or my healing process is delayed. And, I found out this weekend that my manager emailed my coworkers, asking them to donate any extra time off to me. How kind is that?

*My job...again..as it gives me another focus. It's much easier for me to worry about other people than it is to worry about myself!

*All of my friends that have made trips up or over to visit me! Its always good to see old friends, but sometimes its hard to find a time to do so...so I really appreciate that you were able to do so. Plus, its also a good distraction.

*On that note, all of my friends who have tried to come and visit, who I've denied due to being too sick. Thank you for understanding that I want to show you VT when I feel good enough to get out of bed!

*My oncology nurses and doctors who are taking good care of me! I always feel bad because I have this terrible connection in my mind with the oncology clinic, however the people there are wonderful! My nurses frequently go out of their way to find me answers and make me comfortable. One of my nurses even gave me a card for being 3/4 done the other day!

*My support group and therapist...who give me a great perspective and ongoing, nonjudgemental support.

*My friends far and near...who give me and my family continual support through calls, emails, snail mail, texts, blog messages etc. I usually get a card every day, some from people that I don't know....and it really makes all the difference. It's really the small showings of support that mean the world and make this crap bearable!!

*And finally my extended family who have pulled together to show their support in many ways (through visits with long talks and massages, cards, prayers, calls, emails, thoughtful gifts, and giving me something to look forward to in my down times -cruise planning-)

Now...I know that there are many more things that need to be added to my list...but it's almost time to eat! So, please know that I am grateful to you all for reading my blog!

Happy Thanksgiving!