I really want to go out and play....but my neuropathies are really triggered by cold! For example, cold triggers my hands to be on pins and needles...and then not really work/bend. I do wear gloves for this around the house (to get in refridge, touch cold appliances, etc.) however...its really cold outside...I need to find my thick gloves before I venture out (however, that means going into my cold basement to go through boxes....so we'll see :) ) Also, my nose gets neuropathy too! When I'm outside it feels like somebody shot it up with novacaine, but when I touch it, it's all pins and needles too! Besides that... everything is just much colder to my flesh...it almost burns. However, after all this complaining....it is quite beautiful outside...so I may try to bundle up as much as possible (probably scare a few neighbors) and make it to the end of my road! I just want to enjoy it before the plow trucks make everything turn brown!
Anyway....back to my main purpose...10th treatment. I had a hard time making it to this one...basically because the side effects have been lasting longer, and I don't feel totally recuperated when its time for me to return. For example, my appetite was still very finicky, I still had bouts of nausea, etc. So, I regressed and protested getting out of bed (don't worry it was an internal protest...I didn't regress that much) I did make it out and to treatment right on time. Then when my doc asked how I was doing, my teary answer was "I'm done with this". I do know deep down that I'll keep going, however there are always low points along the way where I just want to quit! Anyway, my routine during chemo days are to go in, get my port accessed with labs drawn at the same time, then meet with the doctor. By the time this is done, my lab work is back, and if everything looks good enough for chemo, then I have to take a anti-nausea pill, then wait an hour for chemo. Well, taking this pill yesterday almost made me throw up. My stomach just seems to be rejecting pills right now. Luckily the massage therapist, Sharon, was there to help me through the stomach lurching, and I made it without throwing up that expensive pill! She then gave me a fabulous, long, back massage which, I believe was the turning point in my day. I think I finally relaxed, after being worked up all morning. I spent the rest of the morning looking for Christmas presents in magazines with my dad, visiting with nurses and staff, and napping. And....Sharon came back to give me a foot massage...which was wonderful because I had worked at 13.5 hour day on my feet on Monday!
When I met with my doctor yesterday, her main advice was to recommend that I take a leave from work for the next month-month and a half. This is because the toxicity from the chemo seems to continue to build in my body (ie. side effects lasting longer, and new side effects...palmer erythema/red palms, vision probs) I'm apprehensive about this for a couple of reasons. One, I don't think my job will allow it, as during hospital orientation, they stated that you had to be employed for 6 months prior to taking a leave...and I'm not there yet. Therefore, I don't know what would work for my insurance. So, I need to look into this. Second, I would go crazy spending all of my good days hanging around..I feel like I do that enough. It's okay if I have something to do...but most people work all day...and I can only Christmas shop so much. Plus, I do like my job, and think that it keeps me sane. So, I suppose I'll speak with my boss, and try to downsize hours again. I do know that 12 hour shifts are becoming too much for me, so that may be one change, and we'll see what else we can work out.
Well, I suppose thats it for now! I do have my last treatment date (can't remember if I shared yet)...But it's DECEMBER 31st!!! Out with the old and in with the new!
And, I'm starting to put into motion and Good Riddance Cancer/Fundraiser party for Feb or March. (I'm open to any good ideas from anyone!!!) I'll let you all know when I have a date!
Thanks for reading/listening! Take care everyone!
4 comments:
Those woods like familiar.
Gosh those pics are beautiful. Can't wait to come up for the party!!! Hopefully it'll be all snowy then too. Miss you.
I don't know anyone else who would or could push through this with such strength and grace. You are truly amazing.
Almost there! The next few weeks will fly by!
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